Sometimes, no matter how hard I try to smile, lighten up, feel happy even though the sky is not as blue as it usually is, and clouds as so heavy they could hit the ground anytime, I just break down...I get lured into that dark pit hidden in the depths of my soul. That pit I never let anyone see. That pit that I try to conceal even to myself. Conseal it with lies. Lies that are so old, that I even begin to believe.

I am lonely. Sometimes, it just comes out. That big empty space inside of me...lonelyness. You know, I used to believe that whenever I'm lonely, I'd just have to wear a fancy smile on my face. Wear a pretty little lie around my neck, saying that I'm happy. In the hope that one day I'm no longer pretending. But I was wrong. That big empty space just sucks out anything in its way to fill itself.

I need help. A divine intervention of some sort. I hope that God would let me give it a shot one more time. I need her...like I've never learned to live my life on my own...and that short span of time that I was with her was the only time that I lived, and when she left, I fell down upon the ground once again.