Another Universal Law
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
If time were a universal force which drives even a single atom towards a direction where time flows, exhaustion is a universal law. This law states that all things in this universe eventually runs out.
Yesterday, a friend of mine asked me if I'm happy. I was kindda surprized. It's been a while since a person had asked me such soul shaking question. I don't know exactly why she asked that question or why that question just poped-out of nowhere. I was silent for a second. And then I said yes...I am happy. But there was a part of me that says...I just lied. And the larger part of me says...I dunno. So I went to the chapel to reflect. And I got my answer.
Sometimes, I think I'm ABSOLUTELY happy. And sometimes I think I'm the saddest person in the world. Now I'm just plain confused. I don't know which is which. How can a person be confused of what he's feeling? While in fact he should know himself better than anyone else. At times I realize that there are a lot of things to be happy about. And there are times that I'm just so full of it. But sometimes I just walk into my room and feel like it's so empty that nothing could ever fill it. And then God just whispered to my ear...he said that there's nothing to be confused about. Happiness is simply an exhaustible comodity like fuel. Sometimes you have a full-tank and then eventually you'll run out of it. It doesn't mean that if you were happy once and then feel lonely later at some point, you're just pretending to be happy. Or pretending to be sad. When you feel like you're sad for no reason, you simply ran out of "fuel". It's not because you're having sudden mood-swings or you're simply psycho. You'll just have to find another fuel source and re-fuel yourself. Then you'll be off hopping again.
And then I said...yah...he's right. Perhaps, that's just how God designed the universe. Everything is exhaustible or perishable. It's what keeps people moving.
Yesterday, a friend of mine asked me if I'm happy. I was kindda surprized. It's been a while since a person had asked me such soul shaking question. I don't know exactly why she asked that question or why that question just poped-out of nowhere. I was silent for a second. And then I said yes...I am happy. But there was a part of me that says...I just lied. And the larger part of me says...I dunno. So I went to the chapel to reflect. And I got my answer.
Sometimes, I think I'm ABSOLUTELY happy. And sometimes I think I'm the saddest person in the world. Now I'm just plain confused. I don't know which is which. How can a person be confused of what he's feeling? While in fact he should know himself better than anyone else. At times I realize that there are a lot of things to be happy about. And there are times that I'm just so full of it. But sometimes I just walk into my room and feel like it's so empty that nothing could ever fill it. And then God just whispered to my ear...he said that there's nothing to be confused about. Happiness is simply an exhaustible comodity like fuel. Sometimes you have a full-tank and then eventually you'll run out of it. It doesn't mean that if you were happy once and then feel lonely later at some point, you're just pretending to be happy. Or pretending to be sad. When you feel like you're sad for no reason, you simply ran out of "fuel". It's not because you're having sudden mood-swings or you're simply psycho. You'll just have to find another fuel source and re-fuel yourself. Then you'll be off hopping again.
And then I said...yah...he's right. Perhaps, that's just how God designed the universe. Everything is exhaustible or perishable. It's what keeps people moving.
The missing link
I'm sure everyone is familiar with the Darwinian theory on human evolution. This states that humans evolved from apes. A lot of smart people seems to think that this is true. But if it were true, why is it that till this very day, they have not yet found the missing link? I have come up with a theory of my own. That man did not evolve from apes. Man evolved from fishes.
All organisms in this planet started from a single celled life-form called a bacteria. Then from a single bacteria sprung a variety of multi-cellular, complex, intelligent life forms. Man is far more intelligent than the apes basing on the way of life of a community of apes. They eat lice! How intelligent is that!?
Fishes on the other hand are more intelligent than apes. Although they have relatively small brains, they have a similarity with humans in terms of behavior. Like for instance their habitat use behavior, fish-invertibrate symbiotic behavior, schooling behavior, the use of fish vocal patterns used as a tool to communicate to each other, and fish migrations are far advanced than any of the other species of the animal world. Far more advanced than the way of life of the apes.
Man evolved from fishes. So we were mermaids once. I personally think that scientists should devote their time in finding the real missing link. Mermaids. Heheheh...char lang!
I hope you like my theory...I know I do! ;-D
All organisms in this planet started from a single celled life-form called a bacteria. Then from a single bacteria sprung a variety of multi-cellular, complex, intelligent life forms. Man is far more intelligent than the apes basing on the way of life of a community of apes. They eat lice! How intelligent is that!?
Fishes on the other hand are more intelligent than apes. Although they have relatively small brains, they have a similarity with humans in terms of behavior. Like for instance their habitat use behavior, fish-invertibrate symbiotic behavior, schooling behavior, the use of fish vocal patterns used as a tool to communicate to each other, and fish migrations are far advanced than any of the other species of the animal world. Far more advanced than the way of life of the apes.
Man evolved from fishes. So we were mermaids once. I personally think that scientists should devote their time in finding the real missing link. Mermaids. Heheheh...char lang!
I hope you like my theory...I know I do! ;-D
Belief
Sunday, July 09, 2006
Tonight, you arrested my mind.
When you came to my defense.
With a knife, in the shape of your mouth,
in the form of your body, with the wrath of a god.
Oh, you stood by me.
And I'll stand by my belief.
And I'll stand by my belief.
When you came to my defense.
With a knife, in the shape of your mouth,
in the form of your body, with the wrath of a god.
Oh, you stood by me.
And I'll stand by my belief.
And I'll stand by my belief.
Diary
Saturday, July 01, 2006
I was bored today, so I read a few of my journal entries which I started writing 6 years ago. I was surprised of the things that I’ve read. All the bad experiences that I’ve went through and survived in the passed 6 years came back to me like an unrestful ghost. They were tossed in the darkest corner of my mind that I actually forgot for a while that I went through these many “soul abrasive” experiences. But I’m just glad I survived it all. And so, today I’ve decided to post parts (not including the “sensitive parts” of course…hehehe) of my journal entries.
“You know how it feels like? I feel like falling from a 1000 storey building, falling swift. I feel a certain level of excitement, but I know that eventually I will hit the ground and my body will painfully slam on it, tearing it into small fragments. But you know what I fear the most? I fear of not bearing the pain…and after the pain, I might not have the chance to be whole again.”
-Friday, October 24, 2003-
“Opinionated people say other people are wrong, it’s their way of saying they are more intelligent. Real intelligent people are those that try to analyze and try to find something right about what another person says.”
-Thursday, November 20, 2003-
“Maybe I and my team mates are just like a fruit, yet unripe. Maybe, the time will come for us to claim our seat in success. But not now.
I thank God for this experience. Indeed it has been an enriching, learning experience. This will no doubt become one of the shining moments in my college life. I have learned many things indeed. I’ve become a bit more spontaneous. I’ve learned to keep my head up and feel confident despite the loosing status. I’ve learned to give out my best despite the awareness of deficiencies. I’ve learned how to think like Jesus (remember World Peace? Hahahahah)! I’ve learned to have fun and not take things seriously while aiming for success. I’ve learned to laugh at myself. And most of all, I’ve learned that it is only in making mistakes that I’d gain learning.
We might have lost the debate…but we won friends… ”
-Monday, October 06, 2003-
“This is how I am. Sometimes, I’m smart, sometimes I’m dumb. I make mistakes. These mistakes become the root of regrets and sometimes the root of pain. But they’re also the root of learning. Most importantly, these mistakes are the ones that remind me of my being “human”.”
-Saturday, October 25, 2003-
“I look around me, and I see a strange new atmosphere from that I grew up with. It’s an unseen corner of the world where little light comes in. I constantly ask myself, “do I rightfully belong here?” Perhaps, this is not where I’m destined to be. Nor is it a punishment for the insolence I have done. Pehaps it’s a choice I have unwillingly made years ago. Unwilling in the sense, that I did not know that I was going to make the wrong choice. Perhaps, a strong filthy wind blew towards the west, and my soul was taken away by it. And now, I look around me as if I have not been here long. Here in this desolate world full of unfortunate humans plagued by a queer disease. It’s a disease that fills in the empty spaces of the very essence of your humanity. Yes, it makes you complete…it makes you whole but it makes YOU be made up of rotteness. Yes, you may be whole, but it makes you feel so empty, rotten, confused and unfree inside.
Perhaps, I have been infected by this disease. And things are now so severe that it seems as though there is no room for healing and change anymore. I have been stripped off by the precious characteristics that I once have. I assessed myself, and I realized that I still have something left in me that might just be the key. Key to my freedom from this horrid world that I am in. I have scraps of determination to fuel my physical body to make a move, and scraps of intellect that will guide me towards the right direction.”
- Sunday, November 16, 2003-
“You know how it feels like? I feel like falling from a 1000 storey building, falling swift. I feel a certain level of excitement, but I know that eventually I will hit the ground and my body will painfully slam on it, tearing it into small fragments. But you know what I fear the most? I fear of not bearing the pain…and after the pain, I might not have the chance to be whole again.”
-Friday, October 24, 2003-
“Opinionated people say other people are wrong, it’s their way of saying they are more intelligent. Real intelligent people are those that try to analyze and try to find something right about what another person says.”
-Thursday, November 20, 2003-
“Maybe I and my team mates are just like a fruit, yet unripe. Maybe, the time will come for us to claim our seat in success. But not now.
I thank God for this experience. Indeed it has been an enriching, learning experience. This will no doubt become one of the shining moments in my college life. I have learned many things indeed. I’ve become a bit more spontaneous. I’ve learned to keep my head up and feel confident despite the loosing status. I’ve learned to give out my best despite the awareness of deficiencies. I’ve learned how to think like Jesus (remember World Peace? Hahahahah)! I’ve learned to have fun and not take things seriously while aiming for success. I’ve learned to laugh at myself. And most of all, I’ve learned that it is only in making mistakes that I’d gain learning.
We might have lost the debate…but we won friends… ”
-Monday, October 06, 2003-
“This is how I am. Sometimes, I’m smart, sometimes I’m dumb. I make mistakes. These mistakes become the root of regrets and sometimes the root of pain. But they’re also the root of learning. Most importantly, these mistakes are the ones that remind me of my being “human”.”
-Saturday, October 25, 2003-
“I look around me, and I see a strange new atmosphere from that I grew up with. It’s an unseen corner of the world where little light comes in. I constantly ask myself, “do I rightfully belong here?” Perhaps, this is not where I’m destined to be. Nor is it a punishment for the insolence I have done. Pehaps it’s a choice I have unwillingly made years ago. Unwilling in the sense, that I did not know that I was going to make the wrong choice. Perhaps, a strong filthy wind blew towards the west, and my soul was taken away by it. And now, I look around me as if I have not been here long. Here in this desolate world full of unfortunate humans plagued by a queer disease. It’s a disease that fills in the empty spaces of the very essence of your humanity. Yes, it makes you complete…it makes you whole but it makes YOU be made up of rotteness. Yes, you may be whole, but it makes you feel so empty, rotten, confused and unfree inside.
Perhaps, I have been infected by this disease. And things are now so severe that it seems as though there is no room for healing and change anymore. I have been stripped off by the precious characteristics that I once have. I assessed myself, and I realized that I still have something left in me that might just be the key. Key to my freedom from this horrid world that I am in. I have scraps of determination to fuel my physical body to make a move, and scraps of intellect that will guide me towards the right direction.”
- Sunday, November 16, 2003-