I usually start the day listening to music. And one song usually sticks to my aura. But today, I can't quite find the right song for me. I dunno why. My emotions seem to be blank. Like I can't feel anything at all. It's alarming me. Because I've never felt blank like this before. Am I tired of life? I dunno. Even my words sounds blank and emotionless today.

If my heart was my skin, it would have had countless scars on it. Left by the many pains I've went through these past few years. Some were self inflicted, and some were inflicted by time. What I've learned recently is that pain is inevitable. It's as real and as true as life itself. But what can we do? Give up? Nuh uh! What we should do is love like we've never hurt before, dance like no one's watching, sing like there's no one listening and live the day like it's the end of the world. When we learn that then we're one step closer towards enjoying life.


This song from the movie "Wizard of OZ" is byfar the saddest song I've ever heard in my entire life. Why don't you try listening to the song or read the lyrics and figure out why it's a sad song. Whenever I feel lonely, I'd sing this song so that the sadness of the song would just overpower my sadness.

Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high,
There's a land that I heard of
Once in a lullaby.

Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue,
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true.

Someday I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far
Behind me.
Where troubles melt like lemon drops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me.

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly.
Birds fly over the rainbow.
Why then, oh why can't I?

If happy little bluebirds fly
Beyond the rainbow
Why, oh why can't I?

Since I was little, I've always loved to climb up the roof of our house and watch the stars. The brightest star would always catch my attention. I would look at it for minutes and think that somewhere in the world, there's the other half of my soul, looking at the same star. Just as enticed to it's enchanting glow as I am.

Decades later, I met her. At first I was rather overwhelmed. I did not know how to behave whenever around her. I found her rather scary. Perhaps, I was scared because behind my mind lurks the idea that she could be that girl on the other side of the world, gazing at the brightest star with me and yet she could be not. Or perhaps, I was afraid that she might destroy my balance. Or perhaps, I was afraid to have my heart torn into pieces. I shall never be certain which reason. But what is certain is that I was afraid. And then she faded away like she was just a beautiful daydream that came to me one summer morning.

One day, I found her wondering at the brightest star again. And then she smiled. I just sit on the roof, wondering at the brightest star with her. I just know in my heart that the bightest star's glow is far different than I remembered. When I look at the star, I see her smile. I just know deep in my heart that there was something different about that smile. It's the lonliest smile i've ever seen in my entire life. And as look at that brightest star, I just feel deep in my soul, that it's the bluest glow I've ever seen amidst the darkest night sky.

Tonight, I shall send her my sweetest smile so that when she looks at that brightest star, she'll feel deep in her soul that it's yet the most cheerful glow she'd ever see amidst the darkest night sky. And she'd realize deep in her heart that the darkest night is not at all the darkest. Not at all...

La vie n'est pas toujour facile ;-D

How does God speak to us? I believe that God speaks to us in many ways, all it takes is for us to listen. One common way in which God communicates to us is through the Bible. Most would believe that God could ONLY communicate through the Bible. But I say NOT exclusively. You see, what I believe in is that NOT EVEYTHING that God has to say was written in the Bible. God is not as static as most believe him to be. Therefore, there is no way that his wisdom can be reduced into a single book. That's why he sent Jesus. Jesus was human. God choose him to be human so that he can communicate with us in a language that we humans can understand. When Jesus died, God did not stop communicating with us. That's why Jesus said "as the father sent me, so am I sending you" before he left this world. It means that if God has channeled his love and wisdom through Jesus, so can he channel his love and wisdom to any human being. Not just through the saints, not just through the "inspired authors" of the Bible, not just through Jesus Christ but also through any other human, he can speak to you through your conscience, through your dreams, even through a stranger that we meet on a sidewalk. Though, we have to be wary of the false "truths" that some may want to inflict on us. Satan too can communicate through humans. But of course, that's where our free will and intellect comes in. Always remember that God is far more powerful than Satan. His voice is always louder than that of the devil. His will would always prevail. Therefore, fear not to be led astray. Just choose goodness above all, listen to the voice of God and God only and never forget to pray.

What is religion? Religion is an irreversible contract between you and your beliefs sealed on the day of your baptism. What distinguishes religion from a belief is that religion involves LOVE. You love the God that you believe in and you love the greater "truth" that your religion bestows upon you. Beliefs can evolve. You may believe one thing to be true at one time, and believe it to be otherwise after some time. A religion is reduced to a common belief if at one point in your life you were led to believe that some part of it is not true. For instance, a friend or even a stranger comes to you and tells you that God is a woman. He or she presents convincing facts that God indeed is a woman. This contradicts the teachings of your religion, which says God is a man. And then one morning, you wake up thinking that this could be true. One of the truths you knew since you were baptised was falsified. But it does not end there. This falsified truth would falsify several other truths until no truth is left standing. Religion is comparable to a high-rised edifice made up of building blocks. If you take away one block, it would not be as strong and sturdy as it was before. Take away another block it becomes weaker. And then eventually it shall crumble down to the ground. If this happens then you don't have a religion but rather a common belief.

In my Philosophy class, I have recently learned that there are many ways man can become alienated. Man can be alienated from nature, man can be alienated from man and man can be alienated from himself. The last one has especially caught my attention. How can man be alienated from himself? Perhaps change is one contributing factor. Change combined with societal norms trigger this so-called alienation. But I have learned recently from a friend that love can be an indirect contributory factor to alienation. She had fallen in love with a certain man and this love prompted her to supposedly improve herself. She said that she is not trying to change herself to become another person but she's trying to improve herself to become a better "her".

Perhaps, it is healthy to try to improve ourselves but in my opinion, most of us aren't really capable of QUANTIFYING improvement or change. There are cases that people would tend to change themselves which is beyond the scope of their capacity. And eventually, the person that had incured too much CHANGE or "improving" would find himself lost within himself. Meaning, he would seem like he is a stranger to himself.

What I have learned is that there is no better "you". You are you. And each of us in this world is unique. Just like an odd shaped puzzle piece. Somewhere in the world, there is this other odd shaped puzzle piece that would fit you perfectly. All it takes is to find that other puzzle piece to complete YOU.