No Comment... I'm just gonna sing like angels always do... ;-D

Crush
By: Gavin De Graw

When my pass came in, you dropped the ball
It didnt change the way I feel
And I was wishing I'd break down your walls
The kiss will know if lips stay still
There is a line I crossed
And when you missed I lost
I'm not a loser
Girl, you know that I'll be back again
My dear, I went for the steal
Maybe it was rushed
Oh my crush, I've gotta crush
I suppose that i could hold it in
But you excite my every cell
Sources say that senses are your friends
My senses say that I should tell
You that I'm not ashamed
You might just feel the same
But you have to try it
If you're ever really gonna know
My dear, I went for the steal
Maybe it was rushed
Oh my crush, i've gotta crush
I want to
I need to
I have to have you
You're so much to touch
Girl, you're too much
And I cant control it- you've got me all over the road
My dear, I went for the steal
Maybe it was rushed
Oh my crush
Damaging my soul
You blew me off, but I dont mind
I just get better with time
And so do you
So do you
So do you
My crush

Haaay. My state right now is most definitely beyond what science can explain or mathematics to calculate. Most definitely beyond what my brain can comprehend and most definitely beyond what my heart can contain. Hence, I will just sing. In the hope that I will be heard. Even with the slimmest chance.

What am I to you
By: Norah Jones

What am I to you
Tell me darling true
To me you are the sea
Vast as you can be
And deep the shade of blue

When you're feeling low
To whom else do you go
See I cry if you hurt
I'd give you my last shirt
Because I love you so

If my sky should fall
Would you even call
Opened up my heart
I never want to part
I'm giving you the ball

When I look in your eyes
I can feel the butterflies
I love you when you're blue
Tell me darlin true
What am I to you

Yah well if my sky should fall
Would you even call
Opened up my heart
Never want to part
I'm giving you the ball

When I look in your eyes
I can feel the butterflies
Could you find a love in me
Could you carve me in a tree
Don't fill my heart with lies

I will you love when you're blue
Tell me darlin true
What am I to you
What am I to you
What am I to you

Why do I get hurt and yet let her see a smile painted upon my face? Does she know? Will she ever know? I pray not...I pray never. I wish that I could just grab what's underneath my chest and bury it to the ground. So that what I feel will just fade away into oblivion. And thus we remain strangers.

It's been almost 3 years since I've written a decent, finished poem. And it seems as though my muse has returned to bring forth magic to weave a rhyme. Kaya lang, it's about pain. Maybe my pain is deeper than I think it is. The subconsious works in mysterious ways! Hhehehe. Here's my new poem. Mainit init pa. Hope you like it.

Torment Declaration
By: Me

You’re the most brilliant star beyond any poet’s rhythm could ever chant,
and my pain is beyond what hell could ever bestow upon a man,
As each day I see thy exquisite silhouette caress the walls,
I go to confine myself solitarily and engage in most torturous rant.

Oh what pain this soul has to see another man’s name carved upon thy chest,
I fall into the dry desert grounds and bathe in salty rain,
I lock my face up to the heavens with my eyes closed,
Praying not for thy glance but praying for this soul to be at rest.

In the darkness of the corners of my dungeon thy thought remains my light,
And amidst the dreadful silence I sing thy name infinitely,
This is my torment that I unshamefully declare and cast upon a stone,
This is my obscurest vainglorious battle that I have to mightily fight.

I’m such a failure. As much as I want to hide it from the world, I cannot try hard enough to hide it from myself. I have failed so many times, and my past failures didn’t seem to mean much to me. But it seems like I’ve finally hit the bottom. And my initial reaction to the ground cracking slam? Indifference. I feel numb all over. I put on a smile like it’s no big deal. But a day later…the pain starts to kick in.

I’m such a failure.
There are many types of failure. One that is called a “consequence”. Caused by a person’s faulty decisions in the past. Experienced mostly by people who are more in-touch with “reality”. The second type of failure is called a “jinx”. This type of failure are experienced mostly by people who believe in “luck”. The third type of failure is called “God’s will”. The type of failure that are often experienced by the “faithful”. I am a “faithful” but I don’t want to blame God for my failure. I sometimes believe in luck but I also believe that “jinxes” have no power over me. I am in-touch with reality but I float more in the “dreamy” realm. So, how have I failed? Perhaps, it’s a combination of the three.

I failed, not because I am not smart enough and I failed, not because I did not pray enough. Because truth is, even though I have walked away from God, I felt him pulling me back. And he showered a lot of talents than an average human being. I failed not because I am unfortunate. Because the truth is, I was lucky to have a good mom who stood by me no matter how many times I broke her heart. I failed also not because I was too “dreamy”. Because I was being realistic when I had to face the truth that people are going to JEER me as soon as I decide to start over in college at my age.

I failed because I have neglected the things that should be on top of my priority list. I failed because I did not put my heart into the things that I do. I failed because even though I knew that I was lost, I did not try hard enough to find my way back to the right path.

I’m such a failure.

I see the colors of the world more vividly these days. And this is because of a person. Perhaps it's been going on for over a year. Perhaps just lately. But I can't say anything. And I have to keep myself always a step away from her. No long conversations, just occational touch of her hair, and unnoticed glances. There is no praying, for us to be together. Niether is there hope. I'll just sing her a song, when she's not listening.

Hence...

"You're Beautiful"

My life is brilliant.

My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

Yeah, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
Flying high, [ - video/radio edited version]
Fucking high, [ - CD version]
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.

Sometimes, people smile with you, share laughter with you, fly to places with you, trust you, jeer you, mock you and beat you to the ground. But there are also those people who have compassion towards you, and pray that you have a nice life, even though you don't consider them your friend and barely speak their name. And there are those you weep with you. Today, it occured to me. These people who hate or like my soul...do they think they know me? Or are they just amused of what I look like ten miles from where I stand? Do they really know me?

You see, I have realized that I am shrouded in mystery. But I have never contemplated on how thick that shroud is. And sometimes, my own mystery clouds my own wisdom. Is this even possible? Sometimes, I think that I have been MORTALIZED by being with people. I am not who I used to be. Hence, I am no longer the soul I used to know. Therefore the shroud has now become ME. And what was once shrouded is just a tale waiting to be told.

Who am I? Am I the rainbow you see streched over the weary skies after a storm? Some people believe that I am. Some people believe I am not. But I believe they will NEVER know that I have no value like the colors of the rainbow. I believe that they will NEVER know that there is no magic like the old tales tell about the rainbow. I believe that they will never believe the existence of the PRISM that is ME. Because what they wanted to believe is that a rainbow is all THERE IS and nothing more. And I, the PRISM will be nothing. Left in the corners of oblivion. Who am I? Am I really the prism? I believe that's all I am and all I'll ever be. And if the world would believe that they see a rainbow, I'll just leave the magic at them and I'll just live in oblivion. Awaiting for the day that one soul would come to see the source of that rainbow. The PRISM that is ME...

Yes, I may have wings but I could not fly. I have a beautiful voice but I cannot sing. A beautiful face that no eye can behold. And tears overflowing that no one can ease. Imprisoned by the talons of a griffin. Oh what misery! Oh what horrible death to die while still living! I face the east, waiting for each sunrise, with each drop of hope swallowed by the barren ground upon which I sit. And everything that surrounds me is emptiness and darkness.

"Will there be a day that I shall flee?" I ask myself.

I recall, passed two days. I was with my new friend. I watch her weep as I commence my quest. The quest for my lord. I know that somewhere beyond the wilderness that lay ahead are the answers to my question. Therefore I flee from her side. Leaving behind a promise that I shall come back on the exact same spot where I left her not longer than three days. But when I reached the other side of the wilderness, there were no answers. But amidst the desolate barren desert stood a griffin, sturdy and strong.

"Life ends here. Step no further." Declared the griffin.

I told him about my quest. And she replies with a bargain.

"Whatever answers you seek, I have them. I shall grant thee answers but pay with answers." She says.

I respond with a questioning face.

"I tell thee riddles, and grant me my answers. And tell me thy riddles and I shall grant thee thy answers." She adds.

I answered her every riddle but none of mine were answered. She grabs me by my wings and imprisoned me within her talons. She finds amusement in my wisdom. And she shall not set me free. Thus doomed to answer her riddles for all eternity.

I am worried. My friend awaits for my return.