This is my personal prayer to God. I hope that whoever reads this blog entry would be inspired to write his or her own prayer too. Because even when we often ignore the guy, or even when we think that he’s just some hallucination or even when we often blame him for the many misfortunes in our lives, he’s just there, watching our every move, doing as much as he can to make our lives better. And I think he deserves that simple “thank you”.

For the early morning nags that made me see how beautiful a mother’s love is,

For the occasional fatherly hammering that forces me to work harder,

For the most infuriating younger brother that turned a handful of patience into an immeasurable one,

For the semi-unbearable perpetual summer heat that made me appreciate the cold nights,

For the annoying rainy days that made going to school unglamorous and yet had made me realize that heaven’s not too far to reach,

For the many failures that made me see that when I made the mistake, I actually had a choice,

For love that came and walked away, that made me see life glow with such vivid color,

For friends who laughed and cried with, and whom I also laughed with and cried with,

For strangers who had done much kindness, and that they didn’t know the value of it to me,

For my guardian angel who never says a word whenever I make a mistake but pats my back whenever I do the right thing,

For the unperfect life that made me look up at the night sky and say “someday, I’m going to be giving light to the world amongst the stars…”

For forgiveness that comes along the tides of time, even when it is not being asked,

For the world that has become my huge playground,

For war that had made peace the most precious commodity,

For Jesus who died in the cross, who had made me feel like I’m not just a single soul but an invaluable gem,

For making me feel like I need not be afraid because somewhere in the dark, there’s a light,

Thank you.

With all my heart and with all my spirit.

Amen.

This is the first time I’m going to talk about love in this blog. This essay would explain my beliefs about love.

Love is not there to make you laugh. Love is there to make you cry, so that the person you love can laugh. Love is not there to make life easy. Love is there to make you suffer, so that the life of the one you love would be much bearable. Love is not there to make you happy. It’s there to make you miserable, so that the person you love can be happy. Love is not all about the joys, the laughter and the comforts. It’s all about the suffering, the tears, the pain and most of all, sacrifice.

Some say, love can fade away. I say, when it fades, then it’s not love. It was a need for comfort. The need simply faded away, along with the idea that it was love. Some say, falling in love is like dying. I say, love is a life giving energy. It always brings out the best in a person. It brings out the beauty in the ugly. It makes you look at the world in a different light. If one thinks otherwise, then what he felt was not love at all. It’s simply desperation clothed in a golden fleece. They say love cannot exist without sex. I say, sex is like wine. We drink it to celebrate life. But love is like water. Something we simply cannot live without. They say love destroys. I say, perhaps! But it destroys the old, to make way to the new.

This I say to you. Love is rare. Love is as mysterious as God himself. Inexplicable by any laws of science or mathematics. Immeasurable by any man made scales. Not everyone is lucky enough to find love. And love always finds it’s way to the unwilling. When love finds you or when you find love. Grab it and keep it within the cages of your soul.

Vive l’amour!!!

I've pondered on the concept of forgiveness today. What is the real meaning of forgiveness? Is it a disease or is it a cure? Is it a tradgedy or is it simply one of the many unexplained phenomenons of this universe? Why do we, or don't we forgive? Does it have anything to do with our so called "humanity"? Perhaps yes, perhaps not. One thing's for sure, a soul that leaves this world without it is doomed to live every unforgiving moment again and again for all eternity.

No fault or error is too big to be unforgiven. At least, I think so. And you might strongly disagree on this. But forgiving is not really inwards, it's outwards. Meaning, you forgive yourself first then you forgive the other persons involved. It's man's very nature to be selfish. He tends to absorb every drop of goodness in the world to the littlest morcel of negativity. Meaning, every tragic event in the world upsets him and initially throws the blame on himself. In turn, he becomes angry at the world. And the world becomes an unforgivable entity. But the biggest mistake of man here is to think that the world is unforgivable, while the fact to the matter is, he cannot compel himself to forgive the world because he refuses to believe that there is a need to forgive himself, therefore resulting to an "unforgivable self".

The reason why all these realizations came into mind is that, I have met a lot of angry people lately. And they seem to be consumed by their anger, unaware that they are loosing more of themselves along the way. I am sadened by this fact. I might not have admitted it to myself but I had an idea of a "perfect world". But when I found out that the world isn't what I had in mind, I was disappointed. My only advice to you and more importantly, to myself, is that, we should learn to forgive. Not for the world's sake, but for our own sake. Let us re-claim the peace of mind that was once ours. Let us focus in our dreams and look ahead. Life's too short to be wasted in anger. Let us also learn to accept the fact that the world would never be what we want it to be. And most of all, let us learn to forgive ourselves.

If I look back in my life, there have been a lot of irreversible mistakes that have been made, so many tragic events, too much pain experienced, and I may think of it as a series of unfortunate events weaved together. But within the midst of these unfortunate events, I have realized that at the end of the day, I have a home to come home to. I have the warm loving arms of family to cradle me when I needed to cry. Some people are not lucky enough to have it. I cannot imagine how I could have been worse without my family by my side in my darkest hours. And I have God to thank for.

Last year have been a good year. And I appreciate how god stayed infinitely patient and kind to me despite me trying to drift away from him. I have mentioned before that someday, I’ll come running back to his arms. I guess I’m a few steps closer to becoming ready to do that. All I can say to him is that, I’m coming home…soon. I hope that he still has his arms wide open for me.

This afternoon, I was dead bored I decided to check my e-mail. And I recieved a forwarded message from a friend. It's a story about a little girl in a pink dress. You might wanna spend the next 5 minutes to read this story. It's yet the most touching story I have ever read this year. I hope it touches your heart too. ;-D



There was this little girl sitting by herself in the park. Everyone passed by her and never stopped to see why she looked so sad. Dressed in a worn pink dress, barefoot and dirty, the girl just sat and watched the people go by. She never tried to speak. She never said a word.
Many people passed by her, but no one would stop. The next day I decided to go back to the park in curiosity to see if the little girl would still be there. Yes, she was there, right in the very spot where she was yesterday, and still with the same sad look in her eyes. Today I was to make my own move and walk over to the little girl. For as we all know, a park full of strange people is not a place for young children to play alone.

As I ! got closer I could see the back of the little girl's dress. It was grotesquely shaped. I figured that was the reason people just passed by and made no effort to speak to her. Deformities are a low blow to our society and, heaven forbid if you make a step toward assisting someone who is different. As I got closer, the little girl lowered her eyes slightly to avoid my intent stare. As I approached her, I could see the shape of her back more clearly. She was grotesquely shaped in a humped over form. I smiled to let her know it was OK; I was there to
help, to talk. I sat down beside her and opened with a simple, "Hello." The little girl acted shocked, and stammered a "hi"; after a long stare into my eyes. I smiled and she shyly smiled back. We talked until darkness fell and the park was completely empty. I asked the girl why she was so sad. The little girl looke! d at me with a sad face said, "Because, I'm different." I immediately said, "That you are!"; and smiled. The little girl acted even sadder and said, "I know." "Little girl," I said, "you remind me of an angel, sweet and innocent." She looked at me
and smiled, then slowly she got to her feet and said, "Really?" "Yes, you're like a little Guardian Angel sent to watch over all people walking by." She nodded her head yes, and smiled. With that she opened the back of her pink dress and allowed her wings to spread, then she said "I am." "I'm your Guardian Angel," with a twinkle in her eye. I was speechless -- sure I was seeing things. She said, "For once you thought of someone other than yourself. My job here is done". I got to my feet and said, "Wait, why did no one stop to help an angel?" She looked at me, smiled, and said, "You're the only one that could see me! ," and then she was gone.

And with that, my life was changed dramatically. So, when you think you're all you have, remember, your angel is always watching over you.

Behold ye, I weep as the weeping willow once again. I cannot be much certain but to my knowledge destiny hath given me no heart and yet how could I have been so much disheartened. I am disheartened for I have hoped for the sun to unhide from the gloomy clouds and yet it had only glanced for one minute and deprive me of it’s radiance once again! I can only weep for I find myself the only living tree in an ocean of rotten logs and withered flowers.

Beneath my protective branches are two precious gems. One is an emerald and the other one is a sapphire. Various monsters have come from far away deserts and dark caves, some are from wrecked cages from an impoverished circus far far away. They have come for my precious sapphire. They come with mystic hammers and mighty swords. Some were even merchants that wants to vend it for 30 pieces of silver. These gems are very precious to me for they are not only gems, they are enchanted. They have a unique glow that brings forth the summer sunshine amidst storms and the winter’s cold. For a tree such as myself, the glow which they bring forth gives life to me. Should any creature great and small take any of both would mean me death! I henceforth pledge to spread my branches wider to protect them with all my branches’ might. I shall first wither and until my last leaf kisses the ground will I keep these gems safe. I pray that my creator shall send forth the valiant knight, rightful to claim these gems. He who shall preserve them throughout his lifetime and adore their splendor even when the splendor fades away. Until then shall I rest.

What if one day, I’m going to be taken away to a far away place where no one knows me and a person who behaves, talks and looks just like me were to replace me. Only he has a slight, unnoticeable difference in him. Only he’s slightly, noticeably better than me. Would the world ever know that he’s not me at all? And what if I’m permanently taken away from my life. Would the world ever know that the person who once filled those shoes was me? Would the world ever know that I was a unique irreplaceable being that once existed in his own space and plane? What’s in me that makes me distinct? I have given this a lot of thought and I cannot think of a thing. I am afraid that the people around me might not know me as well as they should. I am afraid that I might not know myself as well as I should. I am afraid that I might pass away and fade away from the universe like I’ve never existed at all.